Monday, July 9, 2012

Life's Just Not Fair

Life's Just Not Fair

A Poem for Katie

A child born sick, a heart not whole...
How can she last? Not one soul knows.
And all the world cries out in vain,
Life's just not fair, it's not the same.

This little girl was whisked away...
To prep her for her surgery day.
A mother left with empty arms...
Life's just not fair, spare this one harm.

God gives and then He takes away,
And all thats left for us to say...
Is blessed be His holy name.
Yes, blessed be His holy name.

Mother's milk she cannot have.
Infection reigns, the outlook's bad.
What did this little baby do?
Life's just not fair, in this thing too.

"Come right back, it won't take long."
But when we returned, she was gone.
Doctors said, "Sorry we tried."
Life's just not fair, and then we cried.

God gives and then He takes away,
And all thats left for us to say...
Is blessed be His holy name.
Yes, blessed be His holy name.

This mother's arms lie empty still,
No baby's cries her ears to fill.
And all the world can feel her pain.
Life's just not fair, no use to feign.

In every person's heart we wonder...
What deed was done, what thought we pondered,
To deserve these trials and storms.
Life's just not fair, then one thought forms.

God gives and then He takes away,
And all thats left for us to say...
Is blessed be His holy name.
Yes, blessed be His holy name.

That baby's smile, those big blue eyes,
Her homecoming before she died,
What did we do to be so blessed?
Life's just not fair, God gives His best.

My life, my family, my home,
I did not earn them, yet they have come.
What mercy our God surely has
Life's just not fair, and I am glad

God gives and then He takes away
And all thats left for us to say
Is blessed be His holy name.
Yes, blessed be His holy name.

When Jesus died upon that cross
He did so because I was lost.
Unending blessings He has given
Life's just not fair, because He's risen

For if it were, then I would pay
For every deed and sinful way.
Yet sacrifice our God did make
Life's just not fair, so let's give thanks.

God gives, but sin He takes away
And all thats left for us to say
Is blessed be His holy name.
Oh, blessed be His holy name.

This is a poem I wrote a few weeks ago because I had been thinking of how often we say to ourselves, to each other, and to children just learning the disappointments and responsibilities of life that, "Life just isn't fair." This is what we use to explain away all of the bad things in life that happen to us without really stopping to think about what we as human beings deserve. The bible says in Romans 6:23 that, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." The wages of sin - what we deserve in payment for our sin - is death.

Now stop there. I am not saying that the death of loved ones is what we deserve for breaking God's rules. Rather, it is our own death, a spiritual death and an eternal death. Katie's heart was not a punishment. Her death was not a punishment. John 9:1-3 says, "As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?' 'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.'" That is utterly amazing to me, that God can use a birth defect to demonstrate His power and glory and to touch the lives of others for the better. This can be applied to just about anything. What's the worst thing that has happened to you lately? It could be any number of things, from the annoying to the devastating. Try filling in the blank - "_____________ happened so that the works of God might be displayed in me."

Wow, saying it aloud makes it sound like a responsibility, and it is. This really hits home for me, which is one reason I have taken awhile to post about it. I complain, I get frustrated, I probably react in the wrong way to a lot of things. When I stop and fill in the blank and say to myself, "This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in me," it becomes a responsibility and... a blessing. God did (blank) so that He could show me and others how wonderful, and powerful, and merciful, and glorious He is. Thank God that instead of giving me what I deserve, He gave up His Son to gift me with eternal life. Thank God I know that my child is in Heaven and that I will see her again. Thank God life isn't fair!


  1. I just saw your post on BBC about "Breast is Best" & followed you blog link. I'm so sorry to hear you lost your beautiful angel. I feel for you! It's gut wrenching and I agree, is totally not fair. I know it doesn't help to hear words of empathy but I had to tell you, I wish you the best and I'm sorry.

  2. Beautiful poem for Katie. We will continue to pray for you guys and ask God to comfort you as only He can.

  3. Wow Kristan. Thank you for sharing that and reminding me to thank God for the unfairness of life. Sometimes I think I deserve things or am entitled to this perfect life filled with everything I want. I read the following in a devotion a friend shared with me the other day, "Perhaps we think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. A humble mind enables us to take a back seat and wait for God to move us to the front. Believing God is good, but can we continue to believe God and trust Him when we don't feel that life is fair? If we surrender our wills to God, what happens doesn't make us angry. If God doesn't give us what we want or ask for, our faith is strong enough to say, 'Not my will, but Yours.'" I see your faith each time I read your blog, and I am blessed by it. I pray that my faith will be as strong as yours.
    Much love,

  4. Wow, that is very powerful and well said. Thank you for reminding me of why things happen. Sometimes it is so easy to say life is not fair. I am so blessed to have a friend with such strong faith. thank you

  5. Blessed be his holy name! I have seen the glory of God revealed through your lives, and Katherine's, and in the underlying strength and peace you have shown through such difficult circumstances. You remain in my prayers. I pray you continue to feel God's presence, peace and strength. I can never understand your loss or the pain you must feel, but I know first hand that when it appears to others the storm is over, the confusion, the pain, the questions are only getting worse for us. When we are in the middle of it, we do what we have to, to survive each day, we let God carry us, but when it is "over", that's when we find ourselves finally trying to deal with it, to make sense of it, to figure out what happens next. I love you both, and if you have any specific prayer requests please continue to share them. It is my great privelege to intercede for you. - Stephanie Moore

  6. Beautiful poem. Beautiful feet (how beautiful are the feet of those who bring Good News). What a witness for Christ. I followed your link from bbc. Wow. Your baby is beautiful. I absolutely cannot imagine your pain. Honestly, I don't want to. I know you didn't want to, either.

    I was struck by you repeating "The Lord gives, and He takes away." It is what the Lord put on my husband's heart when we were told we could not have biological children (that's a different type of pain I would not wish on anyone). The doctor was wrong. Through the miracle of ICSI we got pregnant with twins. We lost one at 8 weeks. Again, the Lord put that on my husband's heart. We got pregnant again with twins recently. Again, we lost one. And again, that was on my husband's heart. It does not stop the pain, but it does bring the peace that passes understanding.

    Our goal through our tough experiences has been and is to glorify God through it all. It's obvious that's your goal. Thank you for sharing your story, your daughter, and Christ.

    If you'd like to see more of our story, you can go to and click on the show "A Conception Story." I'm Amy.

  7. I just stumbled across this poem. Although you wrote this last year, it was a blessing for me to read today. What a wonderful spirit you have! God bless you.